Reinforcing Confidence With Kids
What's up LRTs?!
Another day, another dream over here in the Fero household. In reality I tell you I have dreams, but let's be honest - I really don't sleep much. Between my dudes (Paxton and Jaxon), David's insane work schedule, my work schedule, and running LRT - I stay busy.
Regardless, I am stoked to be writing this blog today.
Why? Well, I believe reinforcing confidence is all something we should do a bit more of - myself included. Whether it is reinforcing confidence with our kids or ourselves, we definitely do not do enough of it.
So, today on the blog, I figured I would share the ways in which I reinforce confidence with my dudes.
Let's start with what exactly self confidence is, shall we?
Self confidence is a feeling of trust in one's abilities, qualities, and judgement.
According to an article by TC North, "Greater self-confidence allows you to experience freedom from self-doubt and negative thoughts about yourself. Experiencing more fearlessness and less anxiety. Greater confidence makes you more willing to take smart risks and more able to move outside your comfort zone. Having greater freedom from social anxiety."
So why is it that we as a society seem to shame self confidence or slander self confidence as ego? Is it because we ourselves lack true self confidence?
Whatever it is, it is something David has helped me with a ton over the years.
I think innately as women, we tend to lack self confidence due to this lovely thing called magazines, that then became television, that now is social media. Then you combine that with new-age filters and holy guacamole, self confidence becomes about as thick as my hair after having both my boys...
I view self confidence as an amazing thing that we should empower our kids to have. Each of our kids is a gift and each child is unique, so why not reinforce that with our children?
Part of my mission here at LRT is to give you styles of apparel that reinforce self confidence with our kids, showcasing how unique they are with the style to match their little rad personalities.
However, I think we all know self confidence is so much more than apparel. Self confidence stems from what we hear as children, what we grow up around, and how our parents view themselves in the world.
That fact, statement, whatever you want to call it, is why I am so passionate about reinforcing and encouraging self confidence with my boys!
Here are some key things I do every day to help show them that they are beyond RAD:
- I always tell them how freaking cool they are. I say things like WOW Pax your jammies are so freaking legit man! Oh my goodness brother look at your outfit I love it! Dude your hair is the bomb today, you are so stinking cool!
- I appreciate his (Paxtons) efforts. We are potty training right now and I tend to go above and beyond in encouragement whether he is successful or not. It's fun to find the more I cheer even if he didn't successfully go potty, the faster he is to tell me he wants to try again (on his own)!
- I let them figure things out. As frustrating or time consuming it can be to let your child problem solve something you could easily do, you'd be amazed how much they enjoy figuring it out on their own. One of our favorite games in our house is to play quiz. I legit just go through a picture book with Paxy and say "What's that?" and he tells me everything on the page. He gets so freaking stoked when he can tell me everything - you can see his confidence sky rocket!
- I don't do things for him. That sounds mean, but a lot of times kids (especially terrible twos) fuss over things they can't do. I take pride in letting Pax try to figure things out and ONLY when he says his please and thank you do I help.
- Let'em help! One of the best things I have ever done is encourage Pax to be the best big brother. I always encouraged him to grab a diaper for me, grab wipes, grab the laundry basket, and more since his brother JJ came home. It's amazing how if you encourage your LRT to help you it can help them.
- I let them be the apple of my eye. In the age of social media, it's easy to think you are being present with your kids when you are really...well...not. At our house, we are really big on OFF hours. I know that may seem impossible given our lifestyle, but I can promise you we have blackout times from technology. I have just become a tedious person when it comes to my schedule, and I block out time for everything I need to do in a day - including time to be fully present with my kids. It's amazing how happy they are when I FULLY focus on them and don't have distractions like my phone on me. Last weekend Pax and I played outside for two hours together and I don't think I have ever seen him walk with more swagger than after that.
Here are some other items I do and promise to continue to help my kids confidence:
- I won't be negative on my body. As a mom I believe this is so important, because I first hand know the mental impact that occurs when your parent(s) talk about how fat they are or lack self confidence. I will never be negative on myself in front of my boys. I want them to always think I am the strongest, happiest, coolest mom there is.
- I will never not support their dreams. As I mentioned earlier, our kids are all made unique - no two are the same. To truly reinforce confidence our children need support. I will never not support my children's dreams. They own what they want to do, who they want to be, who they want to love, what opinions they have - that's the point of being UNIQUELY you.
While I am not the worlds perfect parent, I can say I will forever work tirelessly to make my dudes good humans that do amazing things for the world and the people they meet. I truly believe self confidence is a huge reason that people can accomplish great things in life, and lacking it can be detrimental to growth and accomplishments.
Here at the Little Rad Things, we design unique apparel to help support your child's rad mentality (radtality).
My prayer is that some day, we foster a generation that doesn't care about the filters, but cares about each other and doing the best they can to be the best they can.